


A (K)night in the woods

by UnproblematicMe



Series: Reverse Omens: Golden Snake and Black Cat [5]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Angel Crowley (Good Omens), Demon Aziraphale (Good Omens), M/M, No Smut, Scene: Kingdom of Wessex 537 AD (Good Omens), but innuendos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:40:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23377045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnproblematicMe/pseuds/UnproblematicMe
Summary: Sir Crowley is looking for the Black Knight. He is not easy to find - for a good reason.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Reverse Omens: Golden Snake and Black Cat [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1645828
Comments: 17
Kudos: 114





	A (K)night in the woods

**Author's Note:**

> More Reverse Omens. Will I write a version of every scene of Ep 3's cold opening? Mayyyybe..

Crowley hated horses. Not the individual animals of course. As an angel it was his job to love them. It was not their fault that they were so horribly hard on the buttocks. He just truly hated the design, but had She listened to his suggestions when creating them? No, of course not.

She even had had the nerve to tell him later “See? They like them. They ride on them, just like intended.”

When Crowley had objected that the lack of alternatives might play a part in that, She suddenly had had a meeting. Same old. But he missed talking to Her nonetheless. She kept very quiet lately, only speaking to the Metatron.

But he had other concerns. He hated the weather, the woods, his armor and of course his horse, well the horse’s design. And yet he would be stuck with all of this if he did not solve the problems in England.

He had to be near the location the rumors had led him to so he jumped off his horse and gestured his servant to wait. Everything was quiet except for the occasional rustling of leaves in the wind and the clanking of his armor with every movement.

Pressing forward through the fog, that allowed only to see a few steps ahead, he felt watched. This must be the right place. Not in the mood for games, Crowley stood tall and raised his voice.

“I, Sir Crowley of the Table Round, demand to speak to the Black Knight!”

There appeared to be movement in the trees that were still hidden by the mist and he was unsure whether or not he heard muffled voices.

“I demand to speak to the Black Knight!” he repeated loudly. “Now!”

This time he was sure he heard rustling, careful steps and whispers.

“Listen, the longer I wait, the more annoyed I get and the more annoyed I get, the uglier this might end!”

After a while the silhouette of a short man appeared in the grey-white veil of the fog. He came closer and finally stepped in sight. He was dressed in dark linen, a heavy contrast to the white blond curls. Aquamarine eyes wide in surprise and a faint blush on his cheeks, he waved.

“Aziraphale?” Crowley asked surprised. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, I’m spreading foment!” Aziraphale beamed proudly.

“That’s nice, kitten,” the angel smiled. “But maybe do it somewhere else? These are dangerous woods.”

Exasperated Aziraphale looked at him.

“Crowley, dear, I told you a thousand times that I can take care of myself,” he pouted. “I’m a demon. _I’m_ the most dangerous thing in these woods.”

Crowley faked a coughing attack to cover his laughing fit. But Aziraphale’s pretty blue-green eyes narrowed at him, letting him know that it was unsuccessful.

“Aaaaanyway,” the demon said miffed. “What are you doing here?”

“Heaven is completely besotted with that Arthur guy in Camelot,” Crowley explained with a sigh. “You know, him uniting the people, helping the helpless, spreading peace and tranquility.”

“So you’re here to help him?”

“Exactly,” Crowley nodded. “Went undercover as a Knight of the Table Round – bunch of bores, I can tell you – and supported them. A little luck in battle here, a fast healing wound there, the usual.”

“That is interesting,” Aziraphale spoke. “But what are you doing _here_?”

“Right. Arthur has been having problems with a guy that calls himself ‘The Black Knight’,” Crowley said. “Stirs up trouble, sets people up against each other and threatens the overall harmony.”

“Oh, I see.” Aziraphale bit his lip and started wringing his hands.

“And I heard this guy is supposed to be hanging around here with his men,” Crowley said strictly. “That’s why _you_ should be anywhere but here.”

“Ah, well, dear, you see…”

At this moment Crowley heard heavy steps from behind Aziraphale. His head snapped towards the source and he saw three men stalking towards them. They all were quite tall and muscular, cladded in worn leather armors, but armed with impressive longswords. Two of them had hair of the same dark blond tone, their features giving them away as at least cousins if not brothers. The third was even taller and wore his black hair long and open. They all glowered at Crowley, but the dark-haired man spoke up.

“Everything alright, Aziraphale?” he asked. “You want us to rid you of this guy?”

Crowley narrowed his golden eyes at the man while his hand wandered to the handle of his own sword.

“You are welcome to try,” he growled.

Aziraphale raised his hands to calm everybody.

“No, this won’t be necessary, friends,” he said. “I know this man. He is a fine fellow.”

Crowley stepped closer to Aziraphale and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Are these his men?” he asked. “Are you working with the Black Knight?”

“Not exactly…” Aziraphale said, evasively.

“What?” Crowley raised an eyebrow and smirked in amusement. “You’re not gonna tell me that _you_ are the Black Knight?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, dear,” Aziraphale sighed. “You know I’m not very good with weapons.”

“’Not very good’ is the euphemism of the century, kitten,” the angel said. “Last time you tried, you bled all over the floor and the battle hadn’t even started yet.”

“The thing was heavier than I thought. And sharper…” Aziraphale said, shuddering at the memory. “Anyway, I don’t think you will find him here, dear. So why don’t you go back and tell Arthur the information was wrong?”

“Because I don’t believe it’s wrong?” Crowley grinned. “I believe a little demon is trying to set me on the wrong track.”

“I wouldn’t lie to you, Crowley.”

“That I believe,” the angel chuckled. “You’re not a liar. But you are very good in bending the truth. So maybe the Black Knight is not here. But he is near, isn’t he? Or at least you know where to find him?”

Pressing his lips together, Aziraphale looked around nervously. Several times he opened and closed his mouth again before he finally spoke.

“That’s not really true either…”

“Come on, kitten, you know something,” Crowley said. “So he is not here and not nearby. You are not really working for him and you don’t know where…” he stopped and sighed. “There is no Black Knight, is there?”

“Erm, no,” Aziraphale confessed. “I just brought together some discontented folks and convinced them to rebel. We needed a symbolic figure. So we came up with the Black Knight.”

“So, I’m hunting a ghost in the woods,” Crowley sighed.

“Oh, I hope not,” Aziraphale said. “Most ghosts here are quite friendly, just a little restless, some of them a bit miffed which is understandable in their situation. I’d rather you not bother them because…”

The look Crowley shot Aziraphale shut the demon up.

“I’m sorry you came all the way,” he apologized after a while. “A lot of the men are decent fighters but none of them really has the skills of a knight. Sometimes though one of them watches a raid from the distance in a black armor, posing as the Black Knight. Mostly William over there because he is so tall.”

Aziraphale waved at the dark-haired man who waved back with a dopey smile.

“Right.” Crowley narrowed his eyes at William but said nothing. “So, I’m fomenting peace, you’re fomenting discord. Looks like we’re both working very hard in damp places, only to cancel each other out.”

“It _is_ a bit damp.”

“Not the point, kitten.”

“No.”

“Okay, listen,” the angel sighed. “I’ll leave you and your… friends alone for now. There is a small village two hours to the east. Meet me at the inn after dark so we can sort this out, alright?”

“Al…alright,” Aziraphale nodded and blushed a bit, apparently like Crowley himself hoping for something more than a conversation.

*

The inn was near the woods, a small meadow separating the building from the border of trees. This was the direction Crowley had come from and he was sure Aziraphale would, too. Even though he felt a bit silly, Crowley could not help staring out of his window every few minutes. After walking towards the sill and back again a dozen times, he finally gave up and sat down near the window permanently, peeking through the curtains on the lookout for Aziraphale. Calculating the way and the time he would need to explain his absence to his allies, like _William_ , he should have arrived by now. Then again, Aziraphale was easily distracted by… basically anything on Earth.

Finally a broad grin spread on Crowley’s face when he saw his demon, blonde curls like a beacon between the dark green of the wood. Just as the angel was about to open his window to wave and call out to Aziraphale, he felt something Divine, but not in the good way.

“Shit!” he exclaimed.

Aziraphale must have felt Gabriel’s arrival as well, but it was too late. The demon had already stepped on the meadow and was no longer hidden by the trees. As (bad) luck would have it, the Archangel arrived facing in Aziraphale’s direction, their eyes meeting. Crowley desperately hoped for a flash of wit how to save Aziraphale, but the shock seemed to affect his creativity. 

But to his surprise neither Gabriel nor Aziraphale moved. They just looked at each other, Aziraphale’s surprise turning into disdain, Gabriel’s into an arrogant smirk.

“Aziraphale!” the Archangel said with too broad smile. “We’re having real troubles in this area – can’t believe _you_ are behind this.”

“Well, maybe I’m more capable than you think,” Aziraphale gave back in a voice much colder than Crowley had ever heard the demon use.

“Oh, I never doubted your skills,” Gabriel said, lifting his hand in an almost appeasing manner. “More your… dedication.”

“It’s been millennia,” Aziraphale gave back. “Things change.”

“Hah! Not even time can turn a clumsy bookworm like you into a dangerous bringer of doom,” the Archangel laughed.

“You know nothing about me, Gabriel!”

“I know enough not to underestimate you, demon, not again,” Gabriel snarled. “But I still wonder why you were sent here. Lucifer might have taken a fancy to you, but we both know you are not tough enough to really hurt any humans.”

“Maybe you are just too much of a simpleton to think of getting things done without bloodshed,” Aziraphale mocked while raising an eyebrow at the Archangel.

Crowley drew in a sharp breath and so did Gabriel. Everybody knew that Gabriel did not take kindly to any doubt for his physical or intellectual skills. The Archangel lifted his hand and summoned his divine broadsword.

“But I’m very good at solving problems _with_ bloodshed, Azira…”

While Gabriel spoke, Crowley – without further hesitation or thinking – hopped on the window sill, jumped out in the open, spread his wings and flew towards Aziraphale, knocking the demon off his feet.

“Foul fiend!” he exclaimed dramatically. “Trying to sneak up on me, hm?”

Luckily Aziraphale caught on very fast. While Crowley pretended to strangle him, he moved his knee, stopping only half an inch from Crowley’s stomach. The angel faked a pained groan.

“Don’t act like it wouldn’t have worked, if not for Gabriel,” Aziraphale called out, playacting to struggle in Crowley’s hold.

Crowley lifted his upper body lightly, deliberately leaving a spot at his side unguarded. He cast Aziraphale a pointed look and the demon understood. A well-placed punch against his rips stole Crowley’s breath for a moment and before Gabriel could react, Aziraphale had wiggled out of the grip, spread his own wings and flew into the woods. Surprisingly skilled he maneuvered through the trees, avoiding the thick trunks while keeping up an impressive speed. Even if he had wanted to, Crowley could not have taken up the pursuit so fast.

“Oh, bugger,” Crowley exclaimed for show and then turned to his superior. “Hey, Gabriel, always happy to catch up, but as you see I’m busy so…”

“Why did you do that?” Gabriel asked. “I had this under control!”

“Oh, sorry, whenever I just look at this demon, I’m incapable of focusing on anything else,” Crowley bended the truth. “I just couldn’t leave him to you.”

“And he escaped,” the Archangel said dryly.

“That? Don’t worry, I’ll catch him in the woods.”

“Alright, let’s go!”

“Oh no, Gabriel! After all, this is my adversary. Can’t have you do my work,” Crowley insisted.

“Oh,” the Archangel smirked. “I could use a good hunt.”

Crowley swallowed his anger and shrugged, pretending not to care.

“If you’re sure,” he said. “I just thought as Her messenger you should take care of your corporation. Demonic spells can leave some nasty scars and he has an advantage in the woods.”

Inadvertently Gabriel’s hand went to his handsome face, slowly running over the smooth skin of his cheek.

“Erm, well, I _do_ have a lot to do and I should probably not interfere with your methods,” he said quickly. “I just dropped by to check if you found the source of the disturbance and obviously you have, so I’ll leave you to it.”

“As you wish,” Crowley said. He was still faking indifference, but as soon as Gabriel was gone and he could no longer feel the Archangel’s presence, he let out a long breath in relief.

“That was close,” he murmured before rushing into the woods to find Aziraphale.

It did not take long. After a few minutes of searching, he reached a small clearing where he heard a rustling in the shrubbery to his left. Sure enough the demon stepped out shortly after with a guilty expression.

Immediately Crowley rushed towards him and started to look over his body, carefully touching his face and chest.

“Did he hurt you, kitten?”

“Erm, Crowley, you were there,” Aziraphale said. “He stood about four paces away and hadn’t even touched me when you arrived.”

“Oh, yes, right,” Crowley said and let go of Aziraphale, clearing his throat.

“But _I_ hurt _you_ ,” Aziraphale said miserably. “I’m so sorry, dear. I didn’t mean to hit you so severely.”

“I’ll live, kitten,” Crowley chuckled. “Besides, it had to look real.”

“Still…” Aziraphale carefully touched Crowley’s chest as if to rule out broken ribs.

“I’m an angel, Aziraphale!” Softly Crowley took a hold of Aziraphale’s hand and pressed a kiss to it. “I can take one or two hits.”

“Of course you can, it’s just…”

“You can make it up to me,” Crowley smirked, his golden eyes glowing with mischief. “If we go somewhere private.”

Aziraphale blushed but nodded.

“There is an old lodge not far from here,” he said. “It was abandoned and I veiled it from prying eyes a while ago so my allies and I could use it to meet in secret.”

Hands still entwined, Aziraphale and Crowley left the clearing and the angel let himself be led to an old but well-kept cabin. Crowley smiled when Aziraphale unlocked the door with a key instead of just using a miracle. His demon just loved doing things the human way.

As soon as they were inside and the door was locked behind them, Crowley had Aziraphale against it and kissed him deeply.

“I was so scared when Gabriel was about to attack you,” he whispered.

“Well, I was, too,” Aziraphale smiled. “But you saved me. Thank you.”

“You’re most welcome,” Crowley smirked while his hand wandered towards the demon’s behind. “Can’t say I was being all selfless there.”

“How unangelic.”

“That’s your horrible influence, demon. I think another punishment is in order.”

Smiling he led Aziraphale to the bed in the corner. With a raised brow and a smirk he noticed that the mattress was much softer, the sheets much cleaner and the frame much sturdier than would have fitted into the place.

“What?” Aziraphale asked at his expression. “I have…”

“…standards, yes, I know, kitten! Come here!”

Crowley sat down on the bed and pulled Aziraphale to his lap, kissing him again.

“So,” he asked after a while. “Did you have clandestine meetings with _William_ here, too?”

“Yes, of course,” Aziraphale said confused. “I told you that my allies and I use this place…” he noticed the angel’s look and his face lit up in understanding “Oh! _Clandestine_ meetings, no, never.”

“Never?”

Aziraphale smiled shyly.

“You’re the only one I have ever been with, Crowley.”

“Same back at you,” Crowley said relieved. “Let’s keep it that way, yes? As an angel I’m not allowed to kill humans in a jealous rage.”

He chuckled while he spoke even though he was not sure that he was not serious.

“I couldn’t bear the thought of you with someone else either,” admitted Aziraphale.

“Glad we agree,” Crowley said. “Just you and me.”

They smiled at each other and Crowley pulled Aziraphale into another kiss. Then he let himself fall back, taking the demon with him. Lightning fast he switched their positions and was now on top of Aziraphale. Smirking he brushed his nose against Aziraphale’s.

“Now, about your punishment…”

*

Later that night Crowley lay awake, Aziraphale sleeping in his arms, and stared at the ceiling. The sounds of the nightly wood were soothing, but still he found no rest. Something was bothering him and suddenly he realized what.

 _“I know enough not to underestimate you, demon, not again_ ,” Gabriel had said to Aziraphale.

Again. When had Gabriel and Aziraphale met before? Crowley remembered the letter Aziraphale had written to him in Rome. He had warned Crowley not to underestimate Gabriel, but back then the angel had thought it was a general advice. Now he was not so sure about that.

But Aziraphale had never spoken to him about it and Crowley wondered why. It worried him that the demon he was so familiar with by now, did not trust him with whatever had happened between him and Gabriel. And it must have been bad. Never before had Crowley seen so much contempt for a living being in Aziraphale’s eyes as today for Gabriel.

Crowley shook his head. If there was something in the world he could be sure of, it was Aziraphale. The demon would have good reasons for not wanting to speak about Gabriel. Heaven knew Crowley himself did not like thinking about the arrogant Archangel. He had to trust Aziraphale. It was not easy because he wanted to protect the demon which would be the easier the more information he had. But he would not pry or pressure. He would keep Aziraphale safe, no matter what.

Crowley tightened his hold on Aziraphale’s soft frame and pressed a light kiss to Aziraphale’s forehead.

“Just you and me, kitten,” he whispered. “Just you and me.”


End file.
